Pet Hates

by I Hate Joanna Lumley

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  • Streaming + Download



    w/ bonus hip-hop.

     

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about

IxHxJxLx's disgusting debut.

credits

released April 8, 2014

Jamesy Joanna - vocals, synthesiser
Lukey Lumley - vocals, guitars, bass
Donald Swiven - drums
Glenn Thomas - guest solo on 'Van Halen'

Recorded, mixed and mastered at The Playroom by LL.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

I Hate Joanna Lumley Brighton, UK

Probably the fifth greatest Joanna Lumley themed band in all of South-East England.

contact / help

Contact I Hate Joanna Lumley

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Track Name: Ode to Joanna
Joanna Lumley
Don't say a word
We hate you
Joanna Lumley
Voice be deterred
We hate you
Don't dare smile, you sick donkey-slut
-
Joanna Lumley
Voice like a poo
We hate you
Joanna Lumley
A real soft poo
We hate you
Bono helps people too, fuck you

Quirky ads
Posh whimsy
Sway the lads
S'toss to me

Joanna Lumley
(We hate you)
(We hate you)
Joanna Lumley
(We hate you)
(We hate you)

Oh Lumley
The rage takes over me
Oh Lumley
Blood boils
What do you do to me?
-
What do you do to me?
Something about you, can't you see?
-
It's your appearence
It's all your gestures
It's how you're spoken
My rage awoken
Blood boils inside
Wounds open wide
Everything about you, I just can't abide

Joanna Lumley

We hate you
We hate you
Joanna Lumley, we hate you, yes
We hate you
Bitch

Fucking whore...
Track Name: Don't Keep
Don't Keep

Don't Keep
Don't

Don't Keep, you fucking spastic mong!

Don't Keep
Track Name: Pony Bastard
What's wrong with you pony bastards?
Rainbow' would choose cancer over you
Are you sincere of its merits
or are you just a pervert?
Neckbearded
and dead inside
End your life

Your life is tragic
but friendship is magic
(My lil pony)
Cum-stained girls plush toys
Such great friends give such joys
Bide your time, the day's round the corner...

Reach the convention
with regal ascension
(My lil pony)
You're king of the bronies
enclosed by your cronies
You can't be stopped now

In numbers you're all t' more cretinous
(Preparing launch)
Your disgusting culture must end
(Launch in 3-2-1)
Face your demise
Brony
scum
BOOM!
Track Name: Aim for the Hart
Aim for the Hart
Oh so clumsy
Oh she did a fart, haha
Lonely, middle-aged women rejoice
We've got another large lady,
a self-deprecating voice

Aim for the Hart
Talk about slapstick
Slapped with the ugly stick, hoho
Forget the sexist bile
We just dislike her style
Aim for the Hart

Miranda Hart
Trite is your art
Esteem's depart
Expect it
Track Name: Scrump Circle
Racist skinheads
and burly goons
traitorous thieves
and violent loons
Olob meatheads
in Tapout shirts
Women beaters
No just deserts

Oppressive filth
where do you go?
What do you think
when you're alone?
We found your home
Your scum HQ
Took a look inside
and there was you...

[solo]

Orderly
Gathered in shape
A scrump circle
Scumbag incestuous rape

Dressed in drag
-
pouting your lips
A drag queen blitz
You prance around looking like
Nanny McPhee
-
An orgy of fits
Wanking your bits
It's a scruuump-
Ciiiiiircllllle

It's a scrump circle
For all the hurtful
We can see all your repressions
Hidden urges

It's a scrump circle
For all the hurtful
Woah!

It's a scrump circle
For all the hurtful
All the things that you look down on
The scrump circle is where it's going on

You are bumming redress
Track Name: Glitter
Glitter
No
Glitter
No

Glitter
Granules of pure death
sparkling a whore's depth
Glitter
Stuck to me

Reflective particles
Stick on artsy fools
Wasteful and distasteful
and disgraceful
I don't want a face-full

It drives me up the walls
Shine out without the tools
Don't sprinkle me
with that sleaze
Flashy specks of blasphemy

Robots shimmer and shine
Not you

Glitter
Litter
not fit for the shitter
No place is safe for me
It gets in far too deep
Glitter
(Glitter)
Artificial, tacky grains
Grains of pure death
caught in my breath

[solo]

ARGH!
Don't give me glitter;
shit show-off sand
Get that skivvy, pseudo-pixie, mirror-ball reject shit
away from me
Don't sprinkle me
with your gaudy
Track Name: Things We Say (Gorilla Biscuits)
Humor's got a place like all things
Be aware of the pain it can sometimes bring
A joke to you might not be so funny
So take the time and think it out
before you open up your mouth

I can't believe the things we say
A cutting word can ruin days
I can't believe the things we say
Now I wish I hadn't spoke
Can't you learn to take a fucking joke

We say things we don't mean but friends understand
Respect and humour don't always go hand in hand
A joke to you might not be so funny
So take the time and think it out
before you open up your mouth

I can't believe the things we say
A cutting word can ruin days
I can't believe the things we say
Now I wish I hadn't spoke
Can't you learn to take a fucking joke

But no one's laughing

I wish that I can crack a smile but I can't
I know he's just a fucking jerk
But jerks hurt too
And I'm not that cool that I can laugh
I see because it's happened to me
And I think I was an arsehole when I said what I said
It's just a sick sense of humour rolls 'round in my head
'Cause we've had our fun at your expense and that's wrong
and we know it

You said we were friends
For friendship's sake
let's give it a break

I can't believe the things we say
A cutting word can ruin days
I can't believe the things we say
Now I wish I hadn't spoke
Can't you learn to take a fucking joke
Track Name: WoW
You think you're winning
The world keeps on spinning
Everyone's out sinning
-
While you're hoarding gold
Buy new things, you're told
But really they're old

Each and every raid
No life is here to be made
Will it drop this time?
Who gives a fuck
If you're looking for fun
You're shit out of luck

Shit for a monthly fee
Get a colostomy
You're really lost to me
-
You are too blind to see
Moderation is key
M.M.O.R.P.G!

Exploring digital lands
(that look like) Disney and Comic Sans
Reached level 99
Who gives a fuck
If you're looking for fun
You're Shit out of luck

WoW!
Track Name: Intermission - Potassium Regeneration
Banana break
Track Name: My Ingerland
"Get outta my country"
"Just speaking my mind"
Your mind is wrong
Starved of air too long
Your hatred is blind
fed from litter you find
Minority is not majority
What gives you the authority?

Your views are far-right:
yeah, far from what is right, m8
Walk far right off a cliff, son...
E-D-L? More liiike E-D-ot! Whey-hey! Ho!

"They took the cleaner job at KFC I wanted, WAaAH!
Best burn it down with the extremist cunt."
Track Name: OLOB
OLOB

Overly lad
Overly Bro
Overly lad
Overly Bro

OLOB
Track Name: SLAVES (Wonder Showzen)
(SLAVES)
Built the pyramids
(SLAVES)
Built the parthanon
(SLAVES)
Built America
(SLAVES)
This is your song, thank you
(SLAVES)
Thank you
(SLAVES)
Thank you
(SLAVES)
(SLAVES)
This is your song, thank you
Slaves
Track Name: Van Halen
I brought my pencil
I will write on your eye
You got it bad
(You got it bad)
You are hot for death
disease
infections for your sleaze
Go ahead and jump off a bridge

It's not the '80s anymore
We've all heard solos before
No line of girls at your door
split-jump and shit starts to pour

Thanks a bunch for Bill & Ted
but please stop living, please be dead

Forty years of tapping
Guitars looking like Christmas wrapping
Van Halen
Can't save 'em
Die
Track Name: Stomp it Dead
Stomp it dead!
Ergh!
Track Name: Rebel Meets Rusty Chainsaw
[solo]

H'yeaagh!
Check it, Brother Dime
Ain't got shit on my groove, Bootsy
For the Confederacy
HELL YEAH!

Whiskey at the ready
and some bud to keep us steady
Got my cowboy hat and boots
Let's go
-
Never seen a southern state
and heard Pantera years too late
I miss Dime

Rebel meets rusty chainsaw

A redneck from Redditch
The closest cowboys to you
are dodgey plumbers overcharging gran
-
If you say Getcha pull one more time
I'll pull the cord and you will meet Dime

Rebel meets rusty chainsaw
Rebel meets rusty chainsaw
Rebel meets rusty chainsaw
Rebel meets
Rebel meets
Rebel meets

Zakk Wylde!
H'yeah
Whisky
Track Name: Beaten
I am beaten, ahh
UGH
Track Name: Sorry
We're sorry
We're sorry
You shouldn't waste your time
Don't waste your life on hate
Live your life
Sorry
Live your life
Peace and love
We're sorry
Compassion for other people's feelings
Peace and love
We're sorry
Really sorry